Ep 1 - My Widow Story
In this episode I talk about how my husband and I met, common misconceptions about addiction and alcoholism, the events leading up to Brian's death and why I choose to tell my story.
I struggled with how much of this story to share and how much is even relevant. Because there are parts of the story that I'm not proud of and there are parts that make me wonder how much of it was my fault. But I've learned that the more I tell my truth and the more I can be honest with myself, the more I can heal.
People say I'm so brave for sharing my story. I don't know. It's almost like it's still so shocking to me that I can't stop talking about it. Also, it helped me so much to hear other people's stories or to just know that how they were feeling was so similar to how I felt too. I was convinced that because we were separated, because he died by suicide, because we didn't have the perfect marriage that nobody in the whole wide world has ever felt the way I did. So if I can help someone else feel more the same, more normal or even less alone, then I can find some kind of purpose or meaning in this whole mess.