Ep 22 - You Can Do Anything
In this episode I talk about how the resistance I have to facing big feelings is the fear that I won't be able to handle it, how it's so easy to focus on failures that victories get glossed over and how in an art therapy session my son said, "I love you because you can do anything."
I think for me the resistance that I have to facing big, scary feelings is the fear that I won’t be able to handle it, whatever that means. The same way my anxiety is my fear that something terrible and awful and frightening will happen and I won’t be able to control it. And I will lose my grip. I will go insane. I will start to cry and become hysterical and will never be able to stop. That I will shut down and fall into a deep depression and will no longer be able to function. That I will lose control. That I will hurt too bad. That I will break.
It’s so easy to focus on failures and insecurities and flaws. The negativity bias in my brain loves to show me how everything is going wrong. When I’m running late. When I forget something. When I make a mistake. So much so that victories and accomplishments get glossed over. Celebrating them should be more of a thing. And not even huge wins either. But little every day things like being on time. Or making dinner with multiple food groups. Or not having a meltdown.
I figured he would say that he loved me because I feed him and I buy him stuff. Or that he loves me because I’m his mom and he has no choice. Kids don’t care. They tell it like it is. But here is what he said. "I love you because you teach me things I would not learn in school. I love you because you heal me when I’m sick. I love you because you never give up." And then, he hit me with this. "I love you because you can do anything."