Ep 24 - A Full Time Job
In this episode I talk about how the most challenging job I've ever had has been parenting, how when my son started grieving he needed everything I had in me to help him through it and how it's my job to make sure this human being will be ready for the world someday.
But the most challenging job I’ve ever had has been parenting. I got pregnant shortly after we got married and moved from Maui to Oahu. It was always just a given that I would stay home. I never had any aspirations of juggling a baby and a career. And it never made financial sense for me to pay for daycare while earning a paycheck. It just didn’t add up. And I wanted to be the one to raise my child. But what I didn’t see then that I whole heartedly believe now is that parenting is a full time job.
When the pandemic hit, whether it was just a coincidence or something was triggered in him, my son started to really grieve for the first time. He was angry and defiant. He was anxious and depressed. And needed everything I had in me to help him through it. We struggled together through distance learning and lots of therapy calls on zoom. We fumbled our way through a lot of firsts and trying to navigate in new territory all the way around. It wasn’t pretty. In fact, it was pretty ugly for a while.
I’ve said this before, probably at every other age he’s ever been and it’s always been true, but this seems like a really important, pivotal time in his life right now. It feels like he needs me now more than ever. Not to wipe his butt or cut up his food but to teach him about how the world works and how to take care of himself. I feel like if I blink, I will miss so much. It’s my job to make sure this human being will be ready for the world someday, which is a shit ton of pressure.