- suzannedenigris
Ep 28 - Perspective
In this episode I talk about how the logistics of an event are way more anxiety inducing that the event itself, how once you decide to hold onto a thought that is all your brain is going to allow you to see and how I gained a whole new perspective after my husband died.
For me, the logistics of an event are way more anxiety inducing than the event itself. Where will I park. How will I know where to go. What if I look like I don’t know what I’m doing. Will I know anybody there. I will read and reread directions, instructions and maps ahead of time. I will study and review several times, even when I already understand the plan.
But I have learned that thoughts are optional. And once you decide to hold to one that is all your brain is going to allow you to see. Your brain will literally look for evidence to prove your thought to be true. So if you decide your life is going to be shitty now, that will become extremely believable. You will start to notice everything that is going wrong. It will be much harder to see the victories. The little wins. And any amount of joy.
I gained a whole new perspective after my husband died. Not because I was so enlightened. Well, not right way anyway. It was because I didn’t have the bandwidth to care. About perfection. About getting everything right. About little things. I learned the true concept of good enough, something I never would have been able to live with before. And you know what? Instead of my new way of doing things being subpar or below average, it’s actually great. I wish I would have had this mindset all along. Because all the minutiae, all the little details, all the bullshit? None of it really matters. I care much more about peace than perfection these days.