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Ep 30 - Dateable



In this episode I talk about how the idea of a partner sounds nice but the production of finding one sounds hideous, how I worry that in a relationship I will lose myself again and how I've already survived the worst heartbreak of all.


The funny thing is, I’m not even sure I want to date anyone. The idea of having a partner, someone to laugh with and someone to maybe take the trash out once in a while sounds kind of nice. But the production of looking for a partner sounds hideous. Meeting somewhere for lunch. Conducting and undergoing the interviewing process. Trying to get to know someone all over again.


I’ve done a lot of work on myself, which hasn’t exactly been easy. I’ve had to face some hard truths and get really honest about who I am. I’ve had to remember things I would rather forget. I’ve learned how to set boundaries and how to say no. I’ve learned to speak up for myself even though it still feels terrible when I do. So I worry that in a relationship, I will lose myself again and forget all the hard work I’ve done. I worry that the fear of being left again will cause me to compromise what I really want. And that the need to be loved will be stronger than the love I have for myself.


Of course I worry about getting my heart broken. I’m sure everyone does. But then again, I’ve already survived the worst heartbreak of all. Maybe nothing can hurt me now.




Listen to the full episode here:


My Messy Little Life Podcast Ep 30 - Dateable

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