- suzannedenigris
Ep 35 - Size 4

In this episode I talk about how I grew up in a culture obsessed with looks, how I watched all the girls I knew in school hate their bodies and how for the first time in my life I felt fat.
Unfortunately, I grew up in a culture obsessed with looks from fad diets to Fen Fen and Dexatrim. Liposuction and weight loss surgery. Weight Watchers and Jenny Craig. The Thigh Master and Slim Fast. Lean cuisine and Diet Coke. With trends like tube tops and spandex. The Wonder Bra and skinny jeans. Size double zero and The Victoria’s Secret angels. Skinny was shoved down our throats.
I watched all the girls I knew in school hate their bodies. Pinching their stomachs. Starving themselves. Unrealistically comparing themselves to supermodels when we were like fourteen. And because I felt like I was supposed to, I tried to hate my body too. I took the pills and tried to purge, even though I didn’t really need to. I felt like a traitor to like the way I looked.
Around the time my son was about four years old, I started to feel…fat. Like my metabolism had stopped in its tracks. The being able to eat whatever I wanted rule no longer applied. And all the boredom drinking and eating leftover’s off my kid’s plate was starting to catch up to me.