Ep 37 - Oversharing
In this episode I talk about how I leave so many conversations feeling embarrassed, how my therapist told me that oversharing is a trauma response and how when your husband dies you lose so many people.
Even though I talk openly on my podcast about the fact that my husband died, or that I’m a widow and a solo mom, I’ve noticed that I seem to bring it up in every conversation I have with someone new. When I’m talking to someone who does’t know my story yet, I seem to blurt out all my personal information before I even tell them my name. And I leave so many conversations feeling embarrassed, regretful and insane.
But she also told me that oversharing is a trauma response. That sharing our stress, anxiety and worries with others can help process difficult feelings. It’s our nature to want to connect with other people but with extra stress we can find ourselves spilling our guts. When our lives are in turmoil, that trauma and stress spill out of us more easily and in a way that is harder for us to control. And once we get started, it’s hard to stop.
But what people don’t realize is that when your husband dies, there is a huge piece of you missing. Forever. And your everyday life changes drastically. Your circle becomes microscopic. You lose people. Like so many people. You lose people who say the wrong things. You lose people who can’t relate. You lose people who just move on or think you should too. Sometimes it’s your choice and sometimes it’s theirs. And sometimes you just aren’t capable of reciprocating friendship. You aren’t able to give to a relationship and so you lose them.