Ep 4 - Other Widows Don't Feel This Way
In this episode I talk about how isolating grief can be, how resisting my emotions would result in panic attacks and how much I relate to Christina Applegate's character in Dead to Me. I also read my blog post, "Other Widows Don't Feel This Way."
There are so many ways that grief can feel extremely isolating. I remember thinking, maybe because we were separated before he died or because he died by suicide without a long history of mental illness, that nobody could possibly be in my same boat. There was no way that anybody else could know how I felt. It was hard. And lonely. I felt like no matter how much my friends love me they really had no idea how to support me.
Not long after my husband died, a show called Dead to Me was released on Netflix. My best friend texted me the trailer with a note that said, "too soon?" with a cringing emoji. It was definitely too soon but I'm a huge Christina Applegate fan and couldn't resist her character's brutal honesty and raw sarcasm. Every unfiltered thought she had came flying out of her mouth with absolutely no regard for the person who was speaking to. She would sit in her car with the windows rolled up, listening to speed metal. She would ugly cry. Now this I could relate to. This was the widow I was. Fed up. Spiteful. Full of venom.