Ep 42 - Help
In this episode I talk about how the outpour of love and generosity I received after my husband died was humbling, how asking for help mostly feels like defeat and how I hired a housekeeping and am working on not making it mean that I'm a failure.
When I found out my husband died, I was faced with the daunting task of notifying family and close friends. But because of social media and what we call the coconut wireless, the news traveled fast. I started receiving phone calls and messages from around the island, the outer islands, the mainland and more. The outpour of love and generosity was humbling. People were coming out of the woodwork to give their condolences.
I’ve never been good at asking for help for a number of reasons. Asking for help feels scary. It feels like admitting that I am not as amazing as everyone thought I was and that I am weak. It feels like giving up. It feels like putting trust in someone else and giving up control. But mostly it feels like defeat.
We set a date for after school starts for a deep cleaning. Then she will come every two weeks to tidy up. Even though I’m a stay at home mom. Even though my husband died over three years ago. Even though I just have a two bedroom townhouse and only on kid whose at school all day. Even though I’m capable of doing it myself. And I’m working on not making it mean that I am a failure or that I need valid excuses to ask for help.