until next time

the latest in my messy little life

Every now and then I have to remind myself that writing and talking about myself is not my actual job. There is no boss waiting to fire me if the work isn't done on time. There is no team that will be let down if I don't show up.

Saying all the intimate details about my life out loud and being honest about how I feel can be a lot. And I do it anyway. I do it to let other people know that it's okay to tell the truth. I do it to help me process the things that have happened and to normalize being human. I do it to push myself outside of my comfort zone in order to heal.

Sometimes that can be cathartic and it can also drain me.

Sometimes I worry that it's too much for everyone else. That it's too sad. Too shocking. Too triggering. Sometimes I worry that it's too personal. Too vulnerable. Too embarrassing. And I forget to check in with myself.

When the topic of mental health starting popping up more and more it made me nervous. I wondered if everyone was okay. But the more I immersed myself in communities of grief, loss, mental illness, parenting and being human, the more I realized that everybody is struggling in their own way. Everybody is trying to put one foot in front of the other and make it through. Everybody has their pain.

Talking openly about mental health, hormones, migraines and other issues is humbling. It's saying out loud that I'm not perfect. That I too am struggling. That sometimes I need help. And that isn't always easy to admit.

I've also learned that I don't have to wait until I'm falling apart to take care of my mental health. I'm starting to recognize my limits. I know better than to pile on too much. I practice saying no.

And I can tell when it's time to take a break. To walk away for a while. To breathe. And it's about that time again that I take a beat to focus on myself.

I'll be heading to the mainland to spend some quality time with my family. To connect and to talk story. I'll be studying and practicing and focusing on becoming a Life Coach. I'll be setting intentions for what I want this next chapter to be. And, as always, I'll be putting in the hard work toward healing.

So, if you don't see any posts from me for a while or hear any new podcast episodes, just know that I am taking a mental health break to take care of myself.

Until next time,

Aloha